Thanks to a sweet deal on Groupon, I attended the “Intro to Polymer Clay” class at Clay Squared to Infinity with my friend Sara. Located in “Nordeast”—the artistic center of the Twin Cities—Clay Squared to Infinity is equal parts tile showroom and creative studio.

The raw, gray warehouse walls provide the perfect neutral backdrop for the ecclectic samples of clay-covered teapots, vases, buttons, and beads. I spent an evening here with about twenty other students in exploring the basic techniques of color blending, pattern making, and project completing. My discoveries about the world of polymer clay were numerous…

Fun & simple vernacular
Forget big, unfamiliar, technical terminology when it comes to working with polymer clay. To create a Kandinsky-esque design (see above), we rolled “worms” out of our “canes” of clay, then wrapped the worms in little worm “blankets,” then cut squares from our multi-colored worm “loaves.” To achieve the effect of “fluffiness,” we formed “bacon” strips from our clay. No joke.

So many surprises
An element of mystery characterizes all of the methods we tried in class. There was really no way of knowing exactly what we’d end up with. The magic happened when we took a razor blade to our layered loaves to reveal the miniature designs inside. Some were dazzling, some were disappointing, but most were useable in way or another.

Projects galore
We learned that you can cover just about anything with clay to achieve a finished project—anything as long as it’s bakeable at low heat (275 degrees Fahrenheit). Wood works. Glass works. Metal works. Some sturdy plastics work, such as the kind used for switch plates and ballpoint pens (to avoid an epic mess, be sure to remove the ink barrel before baking).

My project for the night? Applying the results of my mixing and rolling and cutting to the surface of a wooden picture frame.

Practice makes presentable
I laid out the little sliced rectangles upon my frame. When it looked fairly decent, I picked up the rolling tool. That’s when things went horribly wrong. My cute little round worm shapes morphed into mush, a lumpy and ugly mish-mash of mush.

Imagine barf topped by green olives with pimentos (I applied green and orange clay circles in hopes of redeeming the most unsavory background). Barf—yep, that’s what it looked like. My final project was not at all presentable and exactly why you’re not seeing a photo of it here. Believe me, you should thank me. I have no regrets about destroying the thing as soon as I got home.

Despite having nothing to show for it, I loved the experience and am willing to give it another try. Sometimes a person just needs to enjoy the process as the prize. There are no losers among courageous creatives!